Help a blog buddy out, would you? I think we’ve all felt like this at one point or another; how do YOU get through the impossible classes with little or no outside help?
*Note; I’ve changed some of the identifying details, but the rest is as my friend wrote it to me*
I can’t blog about this, as some of my co-workers read my blog, and I have to tell someone, so I figured who better than someone 2,000 miles away who doesn’t even know where I work?!
I left work early yesterday. I concocted this story about feeling a migraine coming on. It was during my second class of the day, a senior class, so I had three classes of juniors remaining. Here’s the thing, I wasn’t starting to see halos, I just had to get out of there.
Backstory: I hate my 5th period juniors. I hate them with every fiber of my being. Walking into the class makes me bristle and turns me into a completely different person. The problem is this; in a class of 34 I have, depending on the day, 7-10 boys who are hellbent on making my class awful. They’re rude, disrespectful, and generally awful. They make me feel like I’m 16, that I’m stupid, that I have no control over my class. I’ve NEVER in my 8 years of teaching felt like that. From day one I’ve been (OK, I’m going to sound like a real fucking asshole here) a great teacher. I’ve had control and respect and it’s seemed as thought I was born to do this. But these boys make me question everything about my job and my competency to do it.
So yesterday, sitting in first period, I started having a panic attack about having to see my 5th period. I just couldn’t handle it. So I made up the story, got a sub, and left.
Am I a completely terrible person? Am I going to some sort of teacher hell? And an even bigger question, how the fuck do I make it through the next 17 weeks of my life without a) murdering someone, or b) killing myself. Any thoughts?
I wrote back and asked her if she could go to anyone for support, or if she could implement any structures that would help. Here’s what she replied:
I’ve tried everything. I’ve sat down with individuals, pointed out their behavior issues, and asked them to be class leaders. I’ve kicked kids out. I’ve instituted bathroom passes because they asked to go every day (I’ve NEVER had bathroom passes before because I believe by 16 you should be able to be responsible for your own bodily functions). I’ve taken away behavior points. I’ve written kids up. I called security once. I’ve talked to everyone can I think of, counselors, my dept chair, my co-workers, basically everyone says the same thing “suck it up”. I’ve tried having a good attitude, which is harder than anything else. Nothing seems to work.
I thought that maybe it was just me, but several co-workers have subbed for me (I leave early on one afternoon about once a month for a workshop) and they all agree that if they had that class, they’d murder them.
I keep a bright pink feather boa in my classroom. I bought it when one of my co-workers from another dept, who I’m particularly close with, was voted grand marshal for the homecoming parade. Now I keep it around for when I or my co-workers have bad days. I wore it yesterday morning. :)
So, my beloved teacher-blog community; what kind of aid can you offer?