Five things I have WANTED to say to various people in my professional life, but haven’t:
1. Please don’t try to bullshit me; I have a very sensitive bullshit detector and besides, you are a rotten liar.
2. You know what? Shut up.
3. You know what? For a smart kid, you’re pretty fucking stupid.
4. I don’t care about your lame-ass excuses. All that matters to me is whether or not you’ve done what I asked you to do; if you haven’t, then just stop talking.
5. If they can’t be bothered to meet me halfway, don’t expect me to kill myself trying to “meet them where they are.”
Five things I HAVE said to people in my professional life:
6. You guys; that was a frickin’ AWESOME class. THIS is why I get up in the morning! Thank you!
7. YES! Good job! Full credit!
8. It’s okay if you don’t know the answer; what I’m more interested in is what kinds of questions you think to ask. Sometimes, the questions are where all the good stuff is, anyway.
9. Thank you for being here, for doing the job that you do, and for bringing the awesomeness that is you into this environment.
10. I am so, SO proud of you right now!