Ten Things Tuesday

It seems that I’m not the only one disenchanted with students at TCC. My dear friend and colleague, Xena, has been less-than-pleased with the performance of some of her students this term, too.  She tends to handle this kind of thing with a wonderful sense of snarky humor, so here is Xena’s top ten list of answers to the question we all get this time of year:

“What can I do to pass this class?”

1. DANCE! Like you MEAN it!

2. Call upon Jesus and ask him to raise his blessed sandal and shove his holy foot up your ass.

3. Crisp 50-dollar bills attached to all of the work you owe me would help.

4. Tug on your earlobes, pull your head out of your ass, and do your damned homework!

5. Drop and give me twenty!

6. I’ll accept your sworn promise that you’ll never accept a job that requires that you have any kind of important responsibility whatsoever.

7. More homework, fewer drugs.

8. Learn to say these two phrases: “paper or plastic?” and “would you like fries with that?”

9. First, you can bow to my greatness…

10. There is nothing you can do. Prepare yourself for a life in retail.

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8 Comments

Filed under ten things Tuesday

8 responses to “Ten Things Tuesday

  1. lol. I think number 4 is perfect!

  2. Darci

    I love these…they will be posted with glee – wouldn’t it look lovely next to my college pendants.

  3. nhfalcon

    I have a foot-and-a-half tall figure of Sir Ian McKellen as Gandalf the Grey that says “You… shall not… PASS!!!”

    I have visions of that being on my desk (when I finally get a teaching job) and simply turning it on whenever a student asks me that fateful question…

    Eventually I will have developed such a reputation in the school that whenever a student asked me that question I could just say (without loking up from whatever I was doing), “Talk to the wizard.”

  4. I LOVE it. Seriously; ‘talk to the wizard.’ That’s one of my favorite lines in the whole trilogy (that and “you’re gonna hafta toss me… don’t tell the elf…”)

  5. That’s a list I can get behind. LOL.

    My favorite is #1.

  6. I love the list! One I’d like to add is, “Build a time machine…”

  7. Pingback: Panic « A Teacher’s Education

  8. Ohmigawd yes I love this. I like the “pray to Jesus” one, myself.

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