You’re Not Going to Believe This….

I was perusing the rosters for my new classes, and guess who’s scheduled for my Monday hybrid public speaking class.

No, really; go ahead and guess.

Give up?


‘Megadeth’ Dave!

I shit you not.

I emailed Joe about this little discovery this morning, but I haven’t heard anything back from him yet. While I don’t want to go to him whining that I don’t want this kid in my class (because, really, I don’t – but I recognize that griping about it is not a very professional way for me to behave), I do think it’s important to give him the heads-up that Dave and I are scheduled to be together again this coming term. I also want to point out to Joe that if Dave DOES stay in my class, my strategies in dealing with him are going to be significantly different than they’ve been in the past. Dave WILL be courteous and professional in ALL his dealings with me or I WILL kick his ass out of my classroom AND report him to the proper authority figures. Since Joe is the first authority figure I go to, it only seems fair to shout out a warning to the man.

Not only that, but I will make a point of forcing Dave’s appropriate participation in the class; the last time he failed my public speaking class, he did so by sitting in the back of the room and doing nothing. His speeches, when he showed up for them, were insubstantial and poorly delivered (no more speeches about Kurt Cobain or Megadeth) and he never – NEVER – turned in any homework. I’m not going to chase the boy down or treat him any differently than I will the other students in the class, but I’m not going to give him any credit for ‘time served,’ either.

I’m really, REALLY hoping that he’ll realize that he’s signed up for me and transfer out before the course even starts (and Organic Mama is really hoping he doesn’t transfer INTO her class). I don’t know whether Joe will see fit to move the kid (I hope he does), but I’m not going to press the issue. I really don’t have any legitimate concerns about having the student in my class; I know that I CAN handle him, it will just be a much nicer semester if I don’t HAVE to…



Filed under General Griping

11 responses to “You’re Not Going to Believe This….

  1. I think you are at an advantage by teaching at the college level. You can ask a student to just get out, and can have him escorted if he will not. Props to you for your patience thus far, and hopefully this kid will get his head out of his ass this semester. That is if you can’t get him out of your class.

  2. Laurie

    He signed up for a reason. Maybe this time he’ll let you reach him.

  3. bowyer1

    Dave should not be allowed back in your class. A good educational institution will place the student in a different class. This is a better situation for you and for him. It s better for you because he can not blame you for repeated failures of “the teacher doesn’t like me” sort. Better for him because he gets to see the material from a different source and delivered in a different manner.

  4. I shit you not
    I didn’t know this was an expression in American English as well, I thought it was primarily/only Ausralian English.

    I bet you didn’t know this one: shit, in Australian English, can be a reciprocal verb to hate such that you shit me is propositionally equivalent to I hate you, just like kill, especially in Catcher in the Rye; she kills me means I like her.

    Sorry for being so far off-topic.

  5. Bowyer, you hit on my ONLY concern for having the kid again. Toward the end of last term, I heard him complaining to Tad – the other Bozo Twin and Dave’s nearly constant companion – that it didn’t matter what he did, I was going to “screw” him out of a good grade. The fact that I can’t grade what he doesn’t hand in never seemed to occur to the boy.

    It will be interesting to me to see what the other English teacher’s experience will be with the kid, and whether or not he passes someone else’s class (though I suspect he won’t. I also heard him boasting that he’s not passed an English class since the seventh grade, so he’s got a record to maintain). This will be his third try at a passing grade in public speaking – he’s already failed out of my class, and Joe’s before me. I’ll keep an eye out and report when I have something to tell you all.

    Janeri, never apologize for going off-topic when it’s fun (geeky) interesting stuff you’re talking about. I’m fascinated by the little variations that English presents in different popluations (and generations). For example, we here in New England use the word wicked as an adjective of emphasis; that was wicked cool or I’m wicked tired. As far as I can tell, very few people outside of this geographic region use that word in that way.

    My students informed me, last term, that I should stop using the world tapped to mean volunteered or called uponI was tapped to participate in the curriculum committee this term – because, in their parlance, tapped means sexual intercourse, as in I tapped my boyfriend in the back seat of the car last night.

    I watch Nigella Lawson on the Food Network, and I’m starting to pick up little Brittish-isms from her. An amount of indeterminate size, for example, is a wodge (you’ll need a good wodge of butter), and tossing something in without having to be careful about it is bunging (bung in the strawberries at the end, and Bob’s your uncle!).

    I love it!

  6. You understand that it’s a 90% certainty that he’s chosen to be in your class, right? Despite his attitude, he likes you and likes being your classes.

    Also, you’d never heard “I tapped that” with a wink and a nod before?

  7. I wouldn’t say Nigella is exactly typical of British-isms, but I confess to using wodge (never thought how it might be spelled) and bung in everyday speech. It might be a London thing.

    Megadeath Dave will learn a great deal in your class, even though he may not realise it for another 10 years!

  8. I agree with the comment that a different style might do him well, or at least I did until I read that he has failed every English class since 7th grade.

    I also agree that he has likely sought you out (either consciously or subconsciously) because he is learning something from you.

    The bottom line is that it sucks he is back. If he stays back, it will only make you stronger, and you can just learn from it what you can and let it make you a stronger better teacher…

    …And, we will at least get to keep hearing funny stories about the kid…

  9. Oh, yes, Girl – there will certainly be stories…

    The last bit of information I got from Joe is that he’s “working on it.” NHFalcon reminded me, in an email this morning, that “working on it” generally equates to “Good luck, you’re on your own.”

    I’m fully prepared to keep this kid if I have to, but I think that Bowyer’s right; whether he’s choosing me out or not, he’s not grown up enough in the last two weeks to be mature enough to recognize that HE needs to do the work in this relationship. Forewarned is forearmed, though; I’ll be well prepared for Dave’s presence in my class…. and Joe will receive daily updates, just so that my pretty white ass is covered….

    Oooh, Angelfeet – I didn’t realize you are a Londoner! HOW exciting for me! Tell me what you consider true British-isms!

  10. Poor Mrs. Chili. :’-(

    I’m not really sure there’s anything else to say about it! Except maybe:

    “Here. Wanna bite of my cookie dough?”

  11. Pingback: Uh.. Buh-Bye!* « A Teacher’s Education

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