Thoughtful Thursday

I’m at a kind of low place energetically right now.  I’m sure a lot of that has to do with my grandmother’s passing and her upcoming memorial (there’s a whole MESS of stress I’m carrying about that, but that may be the topic for another (possibly private) post some other time), but I’ve spent the better part of today on the edge of full-blown panic about my professional future.

Here’s the thing; I know what I’m meant to do, at least in the abstract.  I’m a teacher.  I’ve always been a teacher, ever since I was a kid.  I love it, I’m good at it, and it’s exactly what I want to do.

What has me freaking out right about now, though, is the idea that a) I may not find a job in a classroom next year and b) I may not want a job in a classroom next year.

I’m coming to the hard realization that, for all its faults, CHS was a pretty damned permissive environment.  Even there, though, I ran into a lot of problems, and I have gotten more and more frustrated the more I think about the fact that we say we want to raise careful, energetic thinkers, but we really don’t do the things that are required to produce them because we’re too afraid of “crossing lines” or “pushing boundaries.”  As soon as someone gets a bug up his or her ass about something – as soon as someone is the least bit uncomfortable or challenged – administrators panic, all hell breaks loose, the teachers get blamed, and we’re right back to tiptoeing around only the safest playgrounds.

I’m calling bullshit on that.  The problem is, though, that this attitude is not likely to make me a particularly attractive candidate for employment at a school district.

I’ve been kicking around the idea of trying to land a gig as an outreach coordinator or a workshop facilitator for an outfit that aligns with my ethics, but I don’t have the first inkling about what I’d be qualified to do or how I would go about finding a place to do it.  I thought about perhaps trying to find a position with an activist group or a liberal politician – maybe even of becoming a lobbyist – but, again, no frickin’ idea how to go about getting something like that moving.  There are a couple of teen-centered programs in my area, and the thought has occurred to me to look into what they’re doing to see if they have a need that I can fill, but my concern is that I don’t have the counseling or social work credentials that would be needed to work in places like that.

I hate this feeling of being directionless.  I feel off my mooring, adrift, and not a little scared.

A Ray of Hope

(author’s note; I wrote this whole post once already, but my internet went out when I hit “publish” and I lost the whole thing.  I frickin’ HATE that… Grrrrr….).

 

SO!  A few months ago, I was talking to Dude about CHS and everything that happened (and was still happening) there.  In the course of the conversation, I bitched about how difficult a time I was having looking for work, and he mentioned that he’d met someone in the local government who was looking to start a new charter school and suggested that I look this guy up to see if that was still in the pipeline.

It took me forever to track the guy down, but I did and I sent him a message.  He got back to me to say that he wasn’t involved in it, but he did put me in touch with the people who are, so I sent THEM messages.  They got back to me right away (which, to be honest, kind of surprised me) to tell me that they were holding off on making any decisions at the time because our whackadoodle legislature is in a pissing contest with the DOE and were holding up approvals for new charter schools.

Long story short, I corresponded with the director (let’s call her Sally) for a while, but nothing really came of it until last weekend, when I saw that the school had set up a tent at our town’s annual apple harvest festival.  I marched right up to it and introduced myself.  With a firm handshake, a level gaze, and with far more confidence than I really felt, I talked myself up.  I told Sally about my Master’s degree and my state certification, about my experience teaching at both the community college and the university level, and about my three years as the chair, curriculum designer, and primary teacher in a charter high school’s English department.  By the time I was done, I’d talked her into wanting to have me on the team.

The impression I’m getting is that this school managed to get all of its little ducks in a row before the aforementioned whacadoodle legislature decided to try to kill all new charter schools in the state.  Sally seems pretty sure that the school will open in September; she’s going to be accepting student applications in January and they have their sights set on a facility (ironically, the building where I first taught community college; I’m already trying to decide which room I’ll put dibs on).  She told me that I was to go straight home and send her an email (“Put the subject line in all caps,” she said, “so I can find it right away!”) so that she could add me to her email distribution list, introduce me to the other members of the team, and invite me to their meetings.

The first meeting is Monday.

I’m cautiously optimistic.  I really, really want this to happen; getting in on the ground floor of a school is literally my dream job.  I learned an awful lot about what NOT to do at CHS; I’ve seen firsthand where the energy needs to be put, and I think I have a lot to offer a brand new school.  I come equipped with a ready-made 4-year core curriculum that meets exceeds the State’s standards, several elective courses (including a writing minor complete with a course curriculum), and several years’ worth of lesson plans.  I can literally hit the ground running; I just need someplace to do it.

I’ll keep you all posted.  Wish me luck!

Quick Hit: Thanks, but No Thanks

One rejection a day is bad enough; two in a half hour is just mean.

TenThings Tuesday

Plus one!  The “let’s update Chili’s resume!” edition!  Here are eleven things that I added to my resume today.

1.  designed and taught core English courses to grades 9-12

2.  designed and implemented objectives and standards for core English courses

3.  designed, planned, and taught online “snow day” courses via web-based program

4.  led NECAP standardized test preparation for Language Arts; proficiencies rose three straight years

5.  designed and supervised independent study courses for students in writing, literary analysis, and film study

6.  designed and taught elective courses in poetry, film as literature, and Aliens and Vampires in Literature

7.  coached Poetry Out Loud team 2009-2012; regional finalist each year

8.  communicated with parents via email and in-person conferences; published a weekly informational newsletter for the school community

9.  ran quarterly book fairs at Barnes and Noble; stocked, tracked, and maintained school’s book supply

10.  Led the Socratic Society club’s weekly meetings

11.  chaperoned out-of-school activities

Now, are any of you any good at writing cold-contact cover letters?

When One Door Closes….

… another opens.

Right?… RIGHT?!

One door has been pretty squarely closed.  I was informed last week that my position at CHS will not be renewed in the fall.  I’m still reeling from that announcement (I absolutely DID NOT see it coming and was, in fact, told on numerous occasions and by more than one person that it wasn’t), and I’m not nearly clear-headed enough to write about it yet, but I will.

For now, I’m going day-to-day.  I cleaned out my classroom today; my entire professional life is now taking up my husband’s half of the garage.  I’m going to email my boss at Local U. to let him know that my availability to teach freshman English has just opened up, and I’ll be submitting a couple of (probably too late) applications to a couple of places, though I expect to have a pretty light schedule for the next school year; I can’t imagine I’ll find a position this late in the game.

Regardless, I’m holding myself open to whatever possibilities are in store for me, and trying to reestablish my center.

Ten Things Tuesday

I don’t know if I’ll make it to ten things, but here are some of the things on my work-related summer to-do list:

1.  Planning.  I’ll be teaching at least three core courses (most likely, English I, III, and IV) and at least two electives.  I need to decide what those electives will be, then plan an overview of the year for each of them.

2.  Writing competencies.  The State has decided to use competencies to determine student achievement, and it’s pretty much fallen to me to write these for the English department for the school.  I’ve already begun the process – I’ve done a fair bit of research into what other schools are doing to measure mastery – but I still have to codify them into a useable rubric.

3.  Interviewing.  I’ve made it pretty clear that I want a different part time teacher next year.  The man who taught this year was well enough – he read books and graded the kids’ work – but he never even bothered to become a part of the community.  Not once in 180 days did this guy ever stay for lunch; he’d disappear as soon as his morning class was over, reappear for his afternoon class, then bolt out of here with only an occasional “see ya later.”  That doesn’t make him a bad teacher, but it does make him a bad fit for the community.  I’m not convinced, though, despite my making requests that he be observed and evaluated, that that actually happened, so it may well be that admin decides to offer him another part time gig.  I’ll argue against it, but I don’t know how well my arguments will be heard.

4.  Rearranging.  I’m not good at moving rooms around; once I get things to a point where they’re both functional and appealing to look at, I tend to leave everything well enough alone.  I’m not sure that I’m making the best use of the classroom space I have, though, so I’m going to bring a couple of outside eyes in to the room to see if I can move things around to make it work even better than it does.

5.  Laminating.  I have a ton of inspirational bits and pieces that I rotate on and off the walls of the room – cards, images I’ve scanned, that sort of thing – that are printed on plain paper.  When it gets humid, all that paper curls, so I need to spend some quality time with a laminator to protect them.

6.  Reading.  I’m reading for my own personal enjoyment again (I’ve taken the Outlander series back up, and am heartily enjoying spending time with old friends), but part of my planning process is choosing which books to read during the upcoming school year.

7.  Cleaning.  We inhabit a nearly 200-year-old mill building that seems to generate its own gunk.  I’m planning to spend at least a whole day after the kids leave taking all the furniture out of my room and vacuuming the shit out of the place.

8.  Re-cataloging.  I have a lot – A LOT – of personal property at this school.  I need to document everything that’s mine, and make sure that I have record of its being mine in the event of loss, damage, or separation.

9.  Organizing.  I have to go through all my files and make sure that a) everything is where I can find it and b) everything that can be scanned and cataloged has been.  I have a lot of great materials that I just don’t use because they’re not convenient to me when I need them.  I need to figure out how to remedy that.

10.  Networking.  I am concerned, because of things that have been happening around here, that there may be a need for me to keep certain options open.  I’m going to review my professional development, look into some more college courses (I’ve been flirting with the idea of a degree in social work), and talk to some of my contacts about the possibility of perhaps stretching a safety net underneath me.  I wish it weren’t so, but wishes aren’t horses, so beggars don’t ride.

Can Lightning Strike Twice?

You remember my telling you about Mike, right?  He’s the teacher I hired to work at CHS this year, who turned out to be perfect in every way except that he wants an advanced degree, so he went out and got himself a killer deal at a school that he’d be an idiot to pass up, which means he’s leaving CHS this summer to go all the way across the country?  Yeah, that guy.

Well, I’ve been stressing about finding someone to step in when Mike leaves.  I don’t want to be the only English teacher in the department because that would mean I’d only teach core classes and would have no time (or budget) to teach any electives.  Plus, you know, I’d go crazy here all by myself; English teachers, if you didn’t already suspect, are a particular breed of nerdy, and we need others of our kind to share that with.  Anyway, one candidate who came to visit the school vibrated an energy that I knew was just wrong (and who, it turned out, wanted WAY more money than we could even THINK about offering him, so at least that worked out), and there hadn’t been any movement on trying to find anyone else.  I was starting to get nervous.

A few weeks ago, my TA invited a couple of his poetry buddies to come and run a workshop in our class, and he mentioned that one of them was looking for a teaching gig.  I didn’t think anything of it at the time, to be honest with you; I arrogantly assumed that the guy would be an irresponsible, barely-twentysomething with an associates degree who lived out of his car and thought that being a slam poet qualifies one to teach English.

I’m delighted to say that I was oh-so-very wrong.

The man who came to our class that day (let’s call him Mac) was poised and confident and managed to convey the ever-difficult balance of being approachable and down-to-earth while at the same time expecting respect and engagement.  He led the class through a number of exercises that were really valuable, not just in terms of getting the product done (in this case, some creative writing as a lead-up to writing poetry, which led me to produce this piece), but also in terms of understanding concepts, as well; he wasn’t just interested in getting the kids to DO something, he wanted them to THINK, too.  In the hour we spent together, I had developed a very strongly positive first impression.

We talked for a little bit after the class and I learned that he not only had a degree in English teaching, but that he was state certified and had some pretty significant experience in the classroom, as well.  He went home and forwarded me his resume and credentials, and I planned to find out more.

Yesterday, we met at one of my favorite pizza places for a conversation about the possibility of Mac’s coming to work with me.  In that time – and entirely without my prompting – he said some things that made me realize that I may have struck the coworker jackpot again; he’s competent, his teaching philosophy is exactly in line with mine (and, not for nothing, the school’s, as well), he’s enthusiastic and creative, and he’s got strengths where I’ve got weaknesses (and vice-versa).  What’s more?  I LIKE him; he’s funny and smart and we get each other’s jokes and movie quotes.  I think that we could not only work well together, but that we could, quite possibly, kick ass.

I’ve asked my director to get funding for a part-time English teacher in this coming year’s budget, and then I’ve asked her to meet with Mac to make sure that she sees the same things in him that I see.  It may well be that I’ve scored two consecutive co-worker wins, and I’m looking forward to seeing how this all plays out.

I’m Back!

Sort of.  Did you miss me?

So, long story short is that I was hired at the charter school, but only as an adjunct (“for now…” says the director).  I’ll teach senior English the first semester (90 minute classes 5 days a week for 16 weeks) and wellness (which, I’m gathering, is something akin to phys. ed.) during the second semester.  I’m not terribly jazzed about the second semester – I didn’t really want to be a gym teacher (and I certainly didn’t want to be one in a school that has no gym, so we have to go outside a lot, and I certainly didn’t want to do it during the second semester.  Hello?  January to May weather is terrible in this neighborhood), but it was the only thing I could get, so I’m taking it.  I’m planning on exploring a yoga practice (I think the kids will love it) and maybe some mat Pilates.  I’ve got a lot of wiggle room when it comes to what I do in my classes (both of them) so I’m not overly concerned about keeping it going.

I AM terribly jazzed about the English class, however.  I’m singularly responsible for the entire class; I get to choose the materials, I get to design the curriculum, I get to determine the assessments.  The director (who I’ll call Carrie here) is exceedingly supportive of me and seems really excited to have me on staff, even if it is only part time (“for now,” she says…).  She’s really interested in getting the English department on a more academically-oriented track; my impression is that, up to  now, the English department has been heavy on the creative / interpretive and not so much on the critical thinking / analytical.  In our conversations today, Carrie mentioned numerous times that she can’t promise me anything about what kind of foundation my seniors will have; she even went so far as to say she’s not sure they’ll even be able to express themselves clearly, never mind engage in any kind of analytical thinking right away.

I’m taking that as a very exciting challenge.

I’m also picking up another Freshman English class at Local U.  I’m taking a bit of a dfferent approach to this class than I did last year; now that I’ve had a semester’s experience, I’m more willing to play with the syllabus a bit and customize the course to suit my strengths.  Last year, since it was my first at Local U. as a teacher, I relied pretty heavily on the “suggested syllabus” that was handed out to the new teachers.  It worked, but I felt limited and stilted.  This year, I’m going to have fun with it.  I’ve signed the kids up with an online writing program that I’m really excited about, I’ve ditched a couple of the texts that didn’t work for me last year and picked up Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris (I’m going to have a blast with that during the personal narrative unit!), and I’m going to include more activities and films this year.  I’m anticipating a great semester.

I’m still not ready to post here with any kind of regularity just yet; my mother still hasn’t passed and I’m currently trying to return to the life I suspended for four months to care for her.  Once I’m back in the classroom, though, I’ll be back here most days, telling stories and asking questions and seeking advice (and let’s not forget about Grammar Wednesdays!!).

I’ve missed you all, and I’m looking forward to being back.

We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Programming…

Sorry, you guys.  I’ve been more than a little distracted lately and haven’t been paying much attention to this site.  My mother is actively dying (you can read my musings over at The Blue Door – check out the link on the sidebar) and I’ve had little time to think about much else.

As a consequence, I don’t have a Grammar Wednesday, despite the fact that at least two of you have sent (or are currently in the process of sending) me suggestions.  Sorry.

I will attempt to placate your disappointment with news, however; I’ve been offered the job with the charter high school and we’re leaving it that I’ve tentatively accepted.  I still have some hoops to jump through on their side, and I told the director about my current life-and-death situation and that I won’t accept the position if Mom’s still alive in August (which, if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t think will be the case, but still…).  We’re both entirely satisfied that we’re both in iffy territory, so it’s all good.  I’ll tell you more when I’ve got more to tell.

Thanks for your patience….

Counting Chickens

I’m putting this post up at both The Blue Door and A Teacher’s Education, because I have the same story to tell, but I’m not sure that all of you cross over.

My interview ROCKED.  I left with the distinct impression that I’ll be offered the job, though I have to admit that I’m not entirely sure how I feel about that.  I also have to admit that I’m not certain exactly where my hesitancy is coming from, either, so you may have to just put up with me while I write my way through it.

The gig is at a tiny public charter high school in my town (Wayfarer, I’m betting that their charter is similar to yours; it’s heavily rooted in the arts).  The director is interested in me primarily, I think, because she feels that her curriculum lacks a strong foundation in critical thinking and analysis – which are things that my own personal curriculum is stuffed full of.  She’s looking for someone who can integrate the curriculum standards for the state into a program that draws from several different disciplines (the math, history/social studies, English, and science teachers all work together – so if, say, the social studies teacher is working on a unit about the 30′s and 40′s, the science teacher would work on the inventions or discoveries of that time, the English teacher would read novels and plays either written in or set in that era and the math teacher… well, I’m not sure WHAT the math teacher would do, exactly, but it would tie in somehow).  She’s also looking for someone who can give the students a strong foundation in critical reading and analysis, and the writing skills to go with it.

She’s also interested in someone who can create her own curriculum.  Basically, she said that her hope was to print out the state standards, hand them over, and let me do the rest.  The school doesn’t have to teach to the NCLB tests, so there’s not that nonsense to worry about.  Assessments are based far more on performance and demonstration of mastery than tests (which I love, because I hate writing tests almost as much as the kids hate taking them).  She was delighted when I told her about this, and she said that’s exactly the kind of thing she’s looking for.

I can totally do all of that.

I think that my biggest concern is the full-time nature of the job, though, to be fair, the hours required are just about perfect with my priorities as my girls’ mother.  Beanie will be in middle school next year, so she’ll be leaving the house with Punkin’ at 7:00.  The job requires that I be in the building by 7:30, and said building is about 6 minutes away from the middle school, so I don’t see a conflict there.  The girls would likely beat me home, but literally only by a few minutes.  The job also requires that I teach something other than my discipline (in my case, I’d be teaching yoga for the health and wellness program, and may be teaching introductory ASL, but I’ll have to look in to that; my ASL is a bit lot rusty).

I sent an email to my boss at Local U. explaining what’s going on with me and asking him if he’d be willing to stick me with night courses.  His response was pretty favorable – he actually said “You did a good job last fall, and I do want to keep you with us.” – so I’m thinking that I’ll not have to sacrifice my beloved L.U. job to go on this new adventure.

So, the upshot is that now I wait to hear back about whether or not I get the nod.  Trust me; as soon as I know, you’ll know.