You Might be a Teacher….

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TEACHER?
by Jeff Foxworthy

1. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
*I can totally do this. What freaks the kids out is that I can tell who is WHISPERING. My eyesight may suck, but my hearing is PERFECT.

2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.
*Not so much laminating, but I love turning stickers into magnets.

3. You walk into a store and hear the words “It’s Ms/Mr.> _________” and know you have been spotted.
*heh

4. You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
*this happens to me more often than I expected, given that I teach high school…

5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty minutes.
*I usually keep my lunches simple

6. You’ve trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day: lunch and planning period.
*Yep

7. You start saving other people’s trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
*I do this, too, but more for the art teacher than for myself.

8. You believe the teachers’ lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
*Actually, we’re campaigning for a wet bar…

9. You want to slap the next person who says “Must be nice to work 8 to 3 and have summers off.”
*Don’t even get me STARTED!

10. You believe chocolate is a food group.
*Isn’t it??

11. You can tell if it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
*I can also tell who’s expecting her period

12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says “Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.”
*DON’T JINX US!!!

13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
*Yeah, but I wanted to do that even before I was a teacher…

14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
*Not so much with this, but I DO want to regularly hose the kids down with Lysol, the little germ factories…

15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
*DUH!

16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own needs.
*This is true. I was astounded when I added up my “teacher receipts” from last year.

17. You can’t pass the school supply aisle without getting at least five items!
*Hi, I’m Mrs. Chili, and I’m an office supply addict…

18. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was a “good choice or a bad choice.”
*Not so much with this one…

19. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils.
*I do

20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer and finally,
*I am

21. You understand instantaneously why a child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her parents.
*Oh, dear GOD! You have NO idea how true this is!

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4 Comments

Filed under funniness, little bits of nothingness

4 responses to “You Might be a Teacher….

  1. On that last one–yes, yes, a thousand times YES!

  2. I would cut and paste and put my responses – but they would be no different from yours.

    You would like the book I am reading – if only from the aspect of the daughter analyzing her father’s letters.

  3. needsatimeout

    :) oh ya Just the other week I met my husband at a meeting I was carrying a large fountain soda and bag of sour patch kids. He just looked at me and asked ” tough day ?”

  4. Jackie, RIGHT?!

    Ricochet, title please? Also, I love how we’re sisters in this…

    Needs, you made me laugh out loud; I can totally picture that exchange…

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