I SWEAR to You…

… I DON’T make this shit up.

Check out the response I got from a student for an assignment concerning Joss Whedon’s Equality Now speech (which, by the way, is amazing – go watch it first… I’ll wait….). Remember please that, as always, I have done no editing whatsoever; what you see here is what I got straight from the student (who, because I am kind, shall remain anonymous):

When I first heard him he was very slow and plain and then he liven things up and as comical humor to his speech. HE uses Q&A in his speech. But the way he wrote his speech as real like he just talking away like it was nothing at all. Just his tone alone stand out, he was serious but the same time you can tell he’s he not he was juts having fun . The way he spoke to the audience was relax and cal and there was no hostility at. He wasn’t abrasive and attacking his audience he had a point and he got it crossing fairly god to me it is he could of done better with his audience but then again he got it across that what really mattered.

Seriously.

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14 Comments

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14 responses to “I SWEAR to You…

  1. I have a request, could we get a charactarization of how the student speaks when you send us their written responses? To me, when I read these atrociously composed e-mails I hear them speaking like this, too. Not exactly, I’m pretty sure they don’t SAY god when they mean good but do they know how to speak with subject-verb agreement and proper tense and the like?

    GAH!

  2. Jackie

    ARGH! Not that it matters, but was this something written in class or written at home and submitted? If this was not written in class, people need to learn to use grammar check (and set it to “formal”).

  3. Ho-ly —-! “Could of” from a college student? Are you kidding me?

    Thought of you tonight… I bought new, pretty colored pens.

  4. Kizz, this kid can’t really speak, either – but this is not for my lack of trying.

    Jackie, this was type-written at home and submitted for a grade. Seriously. I do not make this shit up.

    Tense, I get this sort of thing from students ALL. THE. TIME. You know what? Fun colored pens make everything seem a little better…

  5. Haha! I’m just glad that you’re dealing with this too. …. unfortunately it’s from your college students, and they have no excuse for it. I just finished conferencing with my students today and boy, I can’t even begin to describe some of the horrendous writing I saw. Scares me too!

  6. sphyrnatude

    I wish I could be surprised, but I can’t….

    One year (teaching Bio 100), the only real written work inthe class (there were 3,000 students inthe class, so not much chance for correcting), was a “lab report” that more or less asked the kids to copy the lab directions into a paper, fill in a few blanks, do some math, and apply the results. Ignoring the actual science, most of the kids were horrible writers, but I had one kid that handed in 2 typed pages of phrases, with no punctuation, capitalization, paragraphs, or logical progression.

    When I returned the papers, his didn’t have a grade, just a note asking him to come see me. I never saw him again, so I really don’t know what the story was.

    I was teaching at a fairly well known state university, when it was supposedly fairly difficult to get accepted….

  7. Oh, dear! You do teach in an institution of higher learning (AKA college), don’t you? This writing sample looks like something straight out of seventh grade. Or fifth. (Sigh.)

  8. I DO teach at an institution of higher learning (yes, college. A two year college, but a college nonetheless). My THIRD grader writes better than this…

  9. It is for exactly the reasons so obvious to all of us who read your student’s submission that my school requires revisions on work until it reaches at least B level. It takes a LOT of extra work on everyone’s part (mine to grade it, theirs to keep writing it), but after a while they begin to see two things: First, we simply will not accept work that is substandard, and second, it is not in their best interest to try to shortcut the system by submitting crap work in the first place. Doing your best means you might not have to revisit. Not doing so pretty much guarantees you’re back at it in a week’s time and, when it keeps piling on, it adds significantly to the stress level.

    Does your school have a portfolio requirement or some other system that supports formal revisions to work? Just wondering…

  10. Sue

    Well, I’m not going to comment on the writing, as it seems like its all been said already. But, I would like to thank you for including the link to the presentation. I am going to use it in one of my classes for their “watch and learn” exercise!

  11. Oh good Lord, that’s awful!

  12. I don’t know how you do it.

  13. Sorry, didn’t mean to hit enter just then.

    Since you are dealing with college-age students, I think it’s a sad commentary on the state of our schools.

  14. Sue, I’m always happy to share. I come across some great stuff, and I love offering it up to others – sharing makes everyone’s life richer.

    Michael, it really IS a sad commentary. I mean, I have the greatest respect for my colleagues in elementary, middle, and high schools; but, no one can tell me that SOMEONE’S not seriously dropping the ball here….

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