Mrs. Chili, I wasn’t able to print my research paper, which is due today, I know, because, well, my flash drive was in my pocket, right? And we were working with chicken this morning, and I poured chicken blood all down the front of me, and it got in my pocket and all over my flash drive and now it won’t work. The paper isn’t on my computer anymore because my computer keeps crashing, so I can’t email it to you,* but I can probably get it to you by the end of the week.
(*which I would have accepted, depsite my insistence that the paper be printed, because it would have at least proven to me that he’d actually finished the paper before the deadline)
All delivered with a perfectly straight face. I am very much looking forward to the last day of this term…
